Can't you see I'm on the 'phone...

What happens when an apple is put in water?

Wet apple.

What is Emergent Incipient Formative phase of Filipino evolution?

I don't know, but it sounds scary.

What is the spiritual message when bugs appear in your house?

Clean your house, hippy.

There is this girl at church you think she is cute and want to get to know her better but every time I go to talk to her she is already in her car any tips for talking to her with out scaring her?

Just press your face up to the car window and stare.

Do girls always like to be ejaculated on?

Yes, except when they're on the telephone or shopping.

Ok your girl friend is 17 and pregnat im 16 do you need your parents signature?

Now's not the time to be worrying about the paperwork.

I am 17 years old and 6'0 tall What will my final height be?

5'4'', after the incident with the chainsaw.

How would you describe the physical appearance of a volcano?

Magma-spitting death triangle.

What is the history of penguins?

Basically the same as that of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, but waddlier.

I want to have oral sex two weeks after an abortion?

Do you? Well, the first thing that you need to do is get pregnant...