Make yourself cum?

Not without a ‘please’. Oh, go on then.

You just shot a person what do you do?

Quick! Consult the internet!

Just how nutty are squirrel droppings?

I love the way you can hear the tone of voice used when asking this question.

Is it illegal to download kiddie porn in internatinoal waters?

You’re planning a paedo-cruise, aren’t you? That’s going to be one creepy boat.

Do you have to use a condom on a dildo?

There’s something quite charming about a horny, cautious idiot.

When you smoke can smoking cause brian cancer?

Only if you blow the smoke in Brian’s face.

Can you eat your own semen?

No! If you do, you’ll grow a clone of yourself inside you. Since your clone will be genetically identical to you, it’s destined to repeat your mistakes: so he’ll eat his own semen, and grow another clone inside him, and so on. They call it Russian Doll Syndrome.

Merit and demerit ofICT in computer?

One positive aspect of having ICT in a computer is that you can then use it for computer stuff, rather than just staring at a cardboard box with ‘computer’ written on it while humming happily to yourself. A negative aspect is that it will fuck up a lot more than the cardboard box would.

How to rename 2450 without using a caculator?

Write 2450 out in large numerals on an A3 piece of paper. Stand up in the cafeteria and hold the piece of paper aloft. Say in a loud, authoritative voice, “I name this number ‘Mouthbreather’s Constant’, in the name of Christ the Redeemer”, or the deity of your choice. Return to your seat, and bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.

How is the life cycle of a butterfly different from that of a human?

Oh come on, I knew this shit when I was back in the chrysalis.

I'd walk a mile for a camel?

Who fucking wouldn’t?

What is not true about atoms?

The nucleus of every atom contains at its core a sub-atomic middle-aged housewife desperately searching a mini bar for the last mini-bottle of gin. Probably some other stuff too.

How can you use deferment in a sentence?

I’ll tell you later.

What shape has 6 sides and 6 angels?

The Holy Hexagon of Dornoch.

Can you jizz in space?

Not if you want to remain on speaking terms with the other astronauts.

In spanish estar and ser both mean to be but one means location and condition and the other is for inherit characteristis in french etre means to be but what would be the french word for temp stuff?

Firstly, if I’ve understood your question correctly, être as well. Secondly, perhaps it might be better to focus on language number one before branching out.

Can you add a prefix to the word migrant?

I can add fucking dozens. Cryptomigrant, astromigrant, paleomigrant ... see, it’s fun. You try.

What is nineteen thousand?

OVER 9000!!!

Would a sheep die if its wool is not shaved and left to grow?

Oh, come on. Where do you think clouds come from?

What is your challenges in interpersonal communication?

Not half as much as yours.

Where can you find Eye of the tiger sheet music for the clarinet?

Um, dunno. Maybe alongside other more traditional contraceptives.

How would you know if a Girl gets to Horny?

She grows a scorpion tail and tries to snap off your winky.

What is quantam mechanics?

I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.

You are looking for a song to tell a girl that you got eyes only for her?

‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, maybe?

What is the elivatore code for bioshock?

Firstly, learn to spell. Secondly, in my day, when we were stuck in a computer game, we didn’t run off to the internet to whine, ‘I can’t kill the blue Galaxian that’s three in from the right and one row up’. No, we kept mashing that return key until either all the Galaxians were dead, or we ran out of lives. And do you know what happened when they were all dead? Were we rewarded with a flashy cut scene, or an unlocked new weapon? No. Just a visually identical, but tactically improved set of Galaxians. It was like being spat on after coming home from ‘Nam. Although getting spat on after fighting in Vietnam was, admittedly, probably worse. But after spending all afternoon wrestling with this Sisyphean task, all that there’d be waiting for us was Findus Crispy Pancakes for dinner and Terry and fucking June on the telly. You know what? Fuck the eighties and fuck your computer game so-called problem. Bioshock is awesome though. Wait, what were we talking about?

What were JFK's obstacles?

Winning an election against a more experienced opponent, pushing through civil rights legislation when a large proportion of the population were massively opposed to the measures, and the crazed gunman shooting bullets at his head. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

Are there any women in Egypt?

No, everyone migrates during summer to procreate.

Why don't foreign Jews know that American Jews don't think Negroes who can pass for white should call themselves Jews or whites?

I’ve read your question several times, and I still don’t really understand it. I’m pretty sure it’s super-duper racist though.

How do you find your girls hole to penetrate?

That’s one lucky lady you’ve got there, tiger.

8 Look at the drawing The numbers alongside each column and row are the total of the values of the symbols within each column and row What should replace the question mark?

I’d love to help you with your homework, but smart as I am, I’m still going to need to see the drawing.

Why do women reject men even though they know it will kill the man inside?

I bet you’re a real barrel of laughs at the moment.

How does a cow moves?

Depends if you’ve put it on roller skates or not.

Did i concieve my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex and my right uterus has been on the moves?

Your right uterus? You really don’t deserve reproductive organs at all.

Are Cheetahs invertebrates?

That wouldn’t really work now, would it?

What does the word haya mean in french?

It means a French person is going to karate chop you.

What are two lines that cross at exactly the same point called?

All lines that cross do so at exactly the same point.

What happens if you remove the spinal cord?

Nothing good.

Have argument husband dont talk to me unless he wants sex?

Really? You seem like quite the conversationalist. He’s totally missing out.

How do you become limber?

Grow more arms and legs. Ba-dum tish.

Can you get a sex change in to megan fox?

Do you mean, like, without her noticing? Or you’re male, and you want to become Megan Fox? Either way, I salute your ambitiousness.

How do ladybugs maintain homo stasis?

By dazzling them with the pretty patterns on their wings. Unless you meant homeostasis.

How much can you sell a crab?

You can entirely sell a crab.

Is it okay to have sex with a underage girl if her mother is ok and watches?

Dude, you can’t even see ‘okay’ from where you are.

How do you touch your 4th grade teachers boobs?

I really can’t help you with that: but Godspeed, little buddy. Godspeed.

Where in Aberdeen is the shop?

Let me guess: you’re from the ol’ US of A? Thought so. Well, as a former resident of Aberdeen, I can announce that Aberdeen is now operating a multi-shop policy, after Iain McTavish, Aberdeen’s shopkeeper, collapsed from exhaustion.

What is the name of the people that help you if youre on drugs?

Drug dealers.