Make yourself cum?

Not without a ‘please’. Oh, go on then.

You just shot a person what do you do?

Quick! Consult the internet!

Just how nutty are squirrel droppings?

I love the way you can hear the tone of voice used when asking this question.

Is it illegal to download kiddie porn in internatinoal waters?

You’re planning a paedo-cruise, aren’t you? That’s going to be one creepy boat.

Do you have to use a condom on a dildo?

There’s something quite charming about a horny, cautious idiot.

When you smoke can smoking cause brian cancer?

Only if you blow the smoke in Brian’s face.

Can you eat your own semen?

No! If you do, you’ll grow a clone of yourself inside you. Since your clone will be genetically identical to you, it’s destined to repeat your mistakes: so he’ll eat his own semen, and grow another clone inside him, and so on. They call it Russian Doll Syndrome.

Merit and demerit ofICT in computer?

One positive aspect of having ICT in a computer is that you can then use it for computer stuff, rather than just staring at a cardboard box with ‘computer’ written on it while humming happily to yourself. A negative aspect is that it will fuck up a lot more than the cardboard box would.

How to rename 2450 without using a caculator?

Write 2450 out in large numerals on an A3 piece of paper. Stand up in the cafeteria and hold the piece of paper aloft. Say in a loud, authoritative voice, “I name this number ‘Mouthbreather’s Constant’, in the name of Christ the Redeemer”, or the deity of your choice. Return to your seat, and bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.

How is the life cycle of a butterfly different from that of a human?

Oh come on, I knew this shit when I was back in the chrysalis.

I'd walk a mile for a camel?

Who fucking wouldn’t?

What is not true about atoms?

The nucleus of every atom contains at its core a sub-atomic middle-aged housewife desperately searching a mini bar for the last mini-bottle of gin. Probably some other stuff too.